Thursday, March 24, 2011

those who have passed

I am keenly aware of the loss of a yoga teacher who made a major contribution to my life through his sweet and open way of being. I wish I could have given him something to have helped him not check out of his life. I really do. Gabriel took his life two years ago this spring. Thank you deeply and dearly for your help.

Monday, March 21, 2011

breath

today, the focus of the intensive is enlivening a spot. I was lazy but worked as hard as I could. Often the results hit me after that practice. my breath was so available to me as a resource today. I often move through life overwhelmed with many things to attend to. today my breath was deep and strong, carrying me from my first to second job. I was teaching a class to teenagers. One of the other results of my practice was that I felt my fear more acutely but also more fluildly. I went to the place where I teach and I had a sense of how did I get here, what could I possibly have to offer? how an I going to get them to do this? the breath was right there to back up my brain, heart and words.

I also had a guest stay over who is another Forrest yoga teacher who I did my training with. She is so great. I feel so lucky to be surrounded by smart, connected, wonderful people.

ok to bed. 4:30 will be here quick like.

Friday, March 18, 2011

second half

today began the first day of the second half of the intensives. I had been with one of my previous teachers from India last night and was full of awe at my spiritual/ healing path and all of the unexpected turns. I was so moved to be in the presence of Rama Mata and yet it was so clear that Ana is the right now teacher for me. I got and returned a smile and hello with her this am in the hall of BByoga. It is a very different paradigm than the guru paradigm. She is a human being walking a healing path and happens to be ahead of me. The guru paradigm was such a mind twister for so long that I'm barely able to begin to unwind it....they are saints and enlightened and everything they say is for the good of all....not my thing anymore...thank GOD. I do believe in spiritually evolved humans. I also prefer to be around those who are not in shadow and lies around power, sexuality and money.

being a martyr, also not my thing. I was so profoundly moved in my deepest core this am when Ana spoke a teaching story only about two weeks old. The essence of the story was this; it is ok to value your life more than someone else's. To feel the preciousness of your vision and self and be willing to protect that. Through catholicism and yoga (sorry to say) I have cultivated and had to unwind a perversion of healthy self esteem that is contorted into becoming what Ana calls a "sacrificial whore":) making everyone else more important than myself. Having taken the name Karuna about 16 years ago, being so moved by the teachings on compassion, I wonder where I will end up when I continue to evolve on this path of integration. what does compassion look like when one is also deeply caring, even willing to fight for one's self.

Sunday, March 13, 2011

Forrest yoga intensives 2011

after 8 morning intensives in a row, while doing my vibrantly full life, I rested this morning. I am awestruck at the "God damn genius" as I told someone in an interview today, that is Ana Forrest and her paradigm of yoga. It has helped me to become more courageous and prepared to speak my truth, like, for real...than ever before. Some of the themes we dealt with were; opening the heart, the ecstatic spectrum, emotional healing, feeding your needy spots!!, working with deeply held beliefs that healing is for everyone else but me, practicing pain free and pain freeing. I have the urge to shout out when I listen to her speak and pray in the morning intensives about being truly embodied and connecting to spirit with our humanity. I will be there in the am. Thank you Ana.